*contentment*
I think being contented is a virtue. How many of us earthlings can actually walk the talk? We always tell people being contented is important, but how many of us actually practise it?

I'm in a super emo mood now. But I'm glad. Really. Cuz at least I know I'm still human.

Three months into the job. For the entire period, work was always my top priority. Family, boyfriend and friends come after that. I'm tired. Really tired. I need some 'me' time. And I find it very comforting to just stone in my room alone and cry. Throughout this period, there are happy and sad times. Like all jobs, my job comes with the usual goods and bads. For me, I can still say I'm rather positive. But, somehow, things just dont go the way I want it to be. Which, of course is perfectly normal. But when you see people pulling through difficult times, you ask yourself, will I ever pull through this?

I wouldnt say I'm a pessimistic person, but I cant say that I'm optimistic either. Okay I dont know.

One thing for sure, I'm trying to learn to be contented. Be contented with what I have. A contented person is a happy person because deep down inside, she knows that she has got the whole world under her feet. On the contrary, a person who isnt contented with her life will never be happy. Because when she looks back, she'll think, I should have done this/that, even when she has achieved something worth celebrating. And sadly, I have to admit that I fall into this category. Somehow or rather, I find that I constantly try to tell myself that I'm not good enough. In fact, I'm never and will never be good enough. When people congratulate me, I'll think that what I've achieved isnt a great deal, because if it was, I wouldnt have been able to achieve it in the first place. This is seriously ridiculous. Okay I know I'm not making sense but people with the same frequency should understand.

I love my family. I'm really grateful that I was born in this family. I''m grateful to my parents so so so much. They are the only ones who'll stand by me through thick and thin. Everything that I've been through, they are always there to share my joy or sorrow.

I love my boyfriend. Baby if you're reading this, I'd like to say a big thank you to you. Thank you for standing by me. We've made through the one-year mark. Not easy, I would say. For someone like me, being with a same person for more than a year is not easy. In the past, I didnt learn to cherish everything I have, be it loved ones or things. But now, after so many incidents, I've grown up and also learnt to cherish and love the people around me.

I used to be in a mess because I didnt learn to be contented with what I have. I'd say I was once a victim to the-grass-is-always-greener-on-the-other-side-syndrome. Which is sad. This time round, I'm determined not to let it happen again. Ever.